If your friend starts a business, these are the 10 annoying things to avoid. Each command below has its own short funnel: the hook, why it lands badly, the shift, what to say instead, and what to do today. By Anga Jubase.
The 10 commands
- Don’t ask for a discount.
- Don’t say “I’ll buy later” and disappear.
- Don’t expect free advice, free work, or “just a quick favour.”
- Don’t act supportive in private and silent in public.
- Don’t watch their posts and never engage.
- Don’t say “everyone is doing that already.”
- Don’t send vague encouragement instead of real help.
- Don’t make introductions that go nowhere.
- Don’t treat their business like a cute little hobby.
- Don’t wait until strangers support them before you do.
Sign up
Back a friend’s business the right way. Sign up and shop with The Perfume Co. today.
1. Don’t ask for a discount.
Their price is not an opening bid.
Why it lands badly
A new founder is already paying for stock, data, time and nerves. When you haggle, you tell them their work is negotiable, and they have to defend their value to someone who is meant to be on their side.
The shift
Pay the price and pay it proudly. People link price with quality, and what you pay is part of how the business gets seen. If you want to give something back, offer a review or a referral, not a lower number.
Say this instead
“I’d like to buy at your price. What’s your best seller?”
Do this today
- Pay full price on your first purchase.
- Accept a bundle if they offer one; don’t ask for one.
- If money is tight, say so honestly and buy the smaller item.
Built from: Influence and Persuasion (predictability, reciprocation); Self-Esteem and Assertiveness; Cialdini, Influence
2. Don’t say “I’ll buy later” and disappear.
“Later” is the politest no.
Why it lands badly
A vague promise costs you nothing and costs them energy: they wait, wonder and follow up. It also builds no commitment on your side, because nothing was said that you can act on.
The shift
Swap “later” for a date. A named day and a small first step turn a polite promise into a real commitment.
Say this instead
“I can’t today. I’ll order on Friday. Text me if I forget.”
Do this today
- Give a day, not a season.
- Put the reminder in your phone before you hang up.
- Message them the moment you’ve paid.
Built from: Influence and Persuasion (consistency and commitment); Go Pro, Eric Worre (confirm the time commitment)
3. Don’t expect free advice, free work, or “just a quick favour.”
Their skill is the product.
Why it lands badly
“Quick” favours stack up. Founders often struggle to say no to friends, so the cost shows up later as burnout or quiet resentment.
The shift
Treat their time like stock on a shelf. Ask what it costs, then pay, or trade something of equal value. Give back whenever you take.
Say this instead
“What would that cost? I want to pay for it properly.”
Do this today
- Ask for their rate before you ask for the work.
- Offer a swap if cash is short.
- Pay on time without being reminded.
Built from: Influence and Persuasion (reciprocation); Building Your Self-Esteem and Assertiveness Skills
4. Don’t act supportive in private and silent in public.
Whispered support moves nobody.
Why it lands badly
Strangers look at who else backs a new business. Private cheering is invisible, and public silence can read as embarrassment, which hurts more than an honest no.
The shift
Be visible. Say in your own words why you back them. Social evidence is a first-mover game and you can be the first to play it.
Say this instead
“I use this myself. Here’s what I like about it.”
Do this today
- Share one post a week, in your own words.
- Tag them every time you buy.
- Mention them when someone needs what they sell.
Built from: Influence and Persuasion (social evidence, liking); Cialdini, Influence
5. Don’t watch their posts and never engage.
Lurking is invisible to the person doing the work.
Why it lands badly
Founders watch the numbers closely. A post with no response can feel like a verdict, and sadness is the emotion that tells us we’ve lost something of value.
The shift
Show you’re listening. Reply with something specific that proves you read it, the way a good paraphrase proves you heard.
Say this instead
“The third photo sold me. What size does it come in?”
Do this today
- Comment with a detail, not just an emoji.
- Share to one group you’re already in.
- Answer their stories within a day.
Built from: Active Listening (paraphrasing, showing interest); Emotional Intelligence (what emotions tell us)
6. Don’t say “everyone is doing that already.”
That sentence deletes courage.
Why it lands badly
It sounds like realism but it’s a judgment. Listening guides warn against labelling and evaluating, and it feeds the all-or-nothing and discounting-the-positives thinking that already weighs on new founders.
The shift
Swap the verdict for a question. Competition proves demand. What matters is what makes theirs theirs.
Say this instead
“What’s your angle that’s different from the others?”
Do this today
- Ask one open question before you comment.
- Name one thing you genuinely like.
- Test it by buying.
Built from: Active Listening (common listening problems); Self-Esteem and Assertiveness (thought distortions); Go Pro (ignore the loss of social esteem from people who don’t get it, and don’t be one)
7. Don’t send vague encouragement instead of real help.
“So proud of you!” is not a plan.
Why it lands badly
Encouragement feels good for a minute. Founders need hands: a buyer, a referral, a proofread, a share. Vague support leaves the work with them.
The shift
Ask what they want from you: advice, validation or action. Then offer one specific thing and do it.
Say this instead
“I can share your launch in three groups on Tuesday. Want that, or something else?”
Do this today
- Offer one concrete task.
- Ask what they need before you advise.
- Do it, then tell them it’s done.
Built from: Active Listening (ask what the other person wants); Communication Strategies (give service, check understanding)
8. Don’t make introductions that go nowhere.
A name without context is homework.
Why it lands badly
An intro without permission or a reason wastes both people’s time and spends the founder’s credibility.
The shift
Warm both sides first. Say who each person is, why they should meet, and what you’d like to happen next. Open with a sincere compliment.
Say this instead
“Lerato, meet Sam. He runs venues and you do décor. I think you could send each other clients.”
Do this today
- Ask both people before you introduce them.
- Write three lines: who, why, next step.
- Check in after a week.
Built from: Communication Strategies (direct, clear delivery); Go Pro (sincere compliment opens the door); Unreasonable Hospitality, Will Guidara (prepare the moment)
9. Don’t treat their business like a cute little hobby.
“Cute” is an insult with a smile.
Why it lands badly
“Little”, “side thing” and “cute” lower their authority in front of other people, and in front of themselves. Contempt is the emotion that says someone isn’t worthy of care.
The shift
Use the language of a business. Ask about customers, targets and hours. Treat it as a profession, because it already is one.
Say this instead
“What’s your target this quarter, and how can I help you hit it?”
Do this today
- Drop “little” and “side thing” from your vocabulary.
- Ask one business question every time you meet.
- Introduce them as the founder.
Built from: Emotional Intelligence (what emotions tell us); Self-Esteem and Assertiveness; Go Pro (treat it as a profession)
10. Don’t wait until strangers support them before you do.
Social proof needs a first believer.
Why it lands badly
Strangers copy other people. Every early customer lowers the risk for the next one, so the person who goes first gives the business a pulse.
The shift
Be customer number one and say so out loud. Your review gives the next person a reason to say yes.
Say this instead
“I was the first to buy. Here’s my honest review.”
Do this today
- Buy in launch week.
- Leave a written review or testimonial.
- Invite two friends to look.
Built from: Influence and Persuasion (social evidence, authority); Cialdini, Influence; Unreasonable Hospitality
Sign up
Back a friend’s business the right way. Sign up and shop with The Perfume Co. today.
AJTechnicalDr.com